Dear Pope Francis,
My friend Fr. Owen used to talk about how a lot of what people think of as coincidence is really signs from God we need to recognize. I’ve always been a little cautious when it comes to seeing signs. I don’t think it’s healthy to be seeing them absolutely everywhere, but I also think Fr. Owen is right to say we need to recognize the signs in the coincidences of life.
In my last post, I talked about how I was thinking about going to confession. Since then, I’ve been having a really hard time getting into the meditative state I like to be in when I pray. The sacrament of reconciliation is offered on Saturdays before the evening mass at my church. I ended up working a stupid long evening shift and I was a little disappointed to have missed my chance to go. And then today, I almost didn’t make it to mass because I lost track of the time. I went, but I was distracted the whole time.
The only phrase I can think of to really describe the feeling is spiritual warfare. It’s like as soon as I realized I needed the sacrament of reconciliation and made the decision to go, something started stepping up efforts to keep my path to God blocked. Even writing this now is a struggle. I know this experience is important to share, and I know what I’m trying to say, but it’s like my hands don’t want to type. My head hurts from focusing on the letters appearing on the screen, and the fear, which was so paralyzing before I asked God to take it away, is pushing on me.
According to the bulletin, my diocese is holding an evening of reconciliation at my parish this Wednesday night at 7pm. I am going to be there.
I wonder though, does the Devil make signs too, and is it a good thing or a bad thing when we feel like we can recognize them?